I want to write a little note for this year's T of C players.

What do you say to somebody who just shot a 64 from the tips on Boyne Mountain’s Alpine golf course?
You might say:

"Congratulations! Thank you for showing me that this course will indeed yield LOW scores?"

"Good job! Thank you for making me feel so inept."

"Show off! Hey, I have an open spot on my team in a family reunion scramble next weekend.  How’d you like to play as my guest?"

I’ll go with all of the above.
In case any of the participants are reading this, I really do have a spot open on my team next weekend.  Drop me a note and we’ll run roughshod over all my in-laws. You will have an opportunity to drink from the Andrew Jackson Challis. This is big stuff. Really. And I make for pretty good company on a golf course and I really, really need to win this thing. Once, just once. They all know who the BOYNE golf pros are, but YOU would fly right under the radar.  All you have to do is say that we grew up together. 

Forget that you just played for the chance to bring home a $10,000 check, green jacket, lifetime membership to the Country Club of Boyne and your own impressively large trophy.
If we win, your name will be on an electroplated metal matrix and wood veneer trophy FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.  That's pretty darn close to immortality.

Tin Cup would do it.

Call me. Please?

-JJ

There’s a conspiracy afoot.
It starts with a little mystery.
What’s missing in this picture?

Skiers and Riders should know the answer. The pic was taken at the bottom of Meadows. (I wonder how they came up with the name?)
Snowsports geeks might be answering “SNOW!” But no.  That’s not the point that I’m driving at today…come on it’s still July.

What?
How could they?
That was my favorite chair!  (It really was my favorite chair.)

Sorry folks.  
It’s gone.
Kaput.
Bye bye.  
Here’s a pic of one of the uprooted and diced up towers to drive the message home.



I think the people in charge of Solace Spa are to blame. Any investigator worth his salt will tell you that the key to figuring something out is to follow the money. Apparently, it really is all about the Benjamins.

Here’s how I see the Spa’s diabolical plan working.
1. Remove old chairlifts.
2. Replace slow chairlifts with NEW HIGH SPEED DETACHABLE CHAIRS like the one going in at Meadows in the coming weeks.
3. Watch as skiers and riders spend more time riding downhill and less time resting while getting back up hill.
4. Quietly chuckle as they tire in half the time
5. Sell sports massages and foot treatments to the expressly-exhausted masses.
6. Count the money.

If it’s not the spa people, it’s the restaurateurs. Do you think an extra 15-20 runs over the course of a ski day would get you to eat a little more?  

Clearly, somebody wants to get you past the mainstay activities so you can enjoy all the other things there are to do here.

Come to think of it, this vast conspiracy may have infiltrated golf too.  How else do you explain the fastest round of golf world record just set at Boyne Mountain’s Monument golf course?

It definitely is not about providing even more value to skiers and riders further solidifiing your resort's position as the gold standard.  
Nah. That would be too simple an explanation.

I'll keep digging around and will let you know what I find out.

-JJ 

If you’re a Golf Channel junkie like me you know that big-hitting Kim just won the whole enchilada. Yeah, yeah...old news by now.
I have NEW NEWS! New Big Breaking News about the Big Break! ( O.k. redundant, but go with me. I'm a little excited here.)

I have always thought Boyne Highlands would be a perfect venue for the show.
Breathtaking scenery?  Check.
Top-shelf courses? Check.
Perfect climate? Check. In summer anyway.
Gracious amenities? Check...oh, and throw in more than 16 hours of usable daylight.

I’ll put the golf experience here up against ANYPLACE.

As it turns out, the producers of the Big Break agree and they will be filming The Big Break X here.

“GET OUT!”
No. It’s true.
“Shut up!”
Why does everybody keep telling me that?

Because of the suspenseful nature of the program, people are staying very tight-lipped about things. Reality t.v. producers look at bloggers like fisherman look at Cormorants. But I’m a blogger, not a blabbermouth. I'll do my best to give you a little peek inside without spoiling Christmas.

I am your humble servant and in case my wife is reading, this has nothing to do with wanting to meet Stephanie Sparks in person.

Here’s your first Big Break tidbit:
The format will be male/female couples competing as teams.  Could be a husband/wife, father/daughter, ex/ex, any combo of qualifying male/female teams. Things could get ugly. Sometimes it takes my wife and I days to smooth things over after a poorly-played Euchre hand.
These teams will be playing to win an exemption to a PGA and LPGA event respectively...can you say TENSION? 

Once again we get to see how the serious sticks can do on courses we know well.  You’ve probably got about 6 months to figure out how to program your Tivo.  Get on it. I'll keep you posted.

-JJ

Paranoia
pahr•a•noi•a        [pahr-uh-noi-uh]
-NOUN
Irrational fear that you have been shooting waaaay too many pars in a row and that bad things are about to happen.  Victims of this affliction should be careful to not cause other members of their group to become Par Annoyed. (see below)

Par Annoyed
Pahr•a•noid         [pahr-uh-noid]
-NOUN
The state of agitation brought on by friends complaints about their bad luck missing birdie putts and getting easy pars – while you are carding hard-fought bogies.

I suffered a case of paranoia at the eighteenth tee Sunday morning after my "buddy" tallied up the numbers and said,
"WOW! If you get through this hole o.k. and you're gonna have a sweet score."

Hook, dub, lost, drop, three-jack. Par 5 turned 8. Thanks Dave. I'm still trying to find the perfect word to describe how I feel about that.

-JJ

Take the “uh" out of putting.
Do not putt the ball.  Put the ball.

Start pooting.  Just like you put your clubs in your bag. Put your faith in your ability.
If you don’t become a put-er you will be just another putterer.

Here’s how:
Determine direction. Decide on distance. Do.
No second guessing. 
No “uh”.

That is all for today grasshopper.

-JJ

Dear Buck,

I am writing today to tell you that Boyne Country Sports has just dropped the price of Taylor Made Burner Drivers to $199.

Yes, that is the club your brother bought late last year for a lot more than that.  The same one that you always insist on bumming at every tee.  The one that you hit WAAAAY better than your old driver.  The one that gives you "THE FIX".

I’m hoping you take advantage of the ridiculous deal and buy yourself some game (and maybe a little pride while we’re at it.) At least this way, when Don clobbers you, it will be without all the groveling.

I also know some people who are more than qualified to profoundly help you. Unfortunately, nobody can make you get help. You have to decide that on your own. Hopefully that round last Friday was your rock bottom. 

Press. Press. Press.
"Can I borrow your driver?"

Just think about the $32 we each lost.  Think of the good things you could do with that money. It would go a long way toward buying a whuppin stick of your own.

If you are interested, give me a call and I’ll pick up a driver for you-even though I think that might make me an enabler. I’d prefer to drive you to the "clinic" and really get you straightened out. It's a great program. The staff, restaurants and spas are fantastic- all in a spectacular setting well removed from the chaos of everyday life. It's really more of a resort than anything. I don't know if your doctor will write a scrip for it, but I know it's the cure for what ails you.

Anything to spare you from suffering.
I’m here for you man.

Your favorite brother-in-law,

-JJ

Golfers know about lateral hazards and water hazards, but there is one hazard even more irksome and painful-
the spruce tree. 

They stand like vertical water columns reaching up to grab an errant shot.  Miss into one and odds are the ball won’t come out. Unless you’re sporting plate mail you probably won’t be going in after it and now you’re down a stroke and a ball. Either way, that hurts.

If you have a Navy Seal mentality about golf balls and “Never Leave Your Own Behind”, prepare to bleed for your convictions. These things are toothy critters.

Trust me on that one…and try not to overshoot your tee shot on 18 Alpine.

-JJ

Is your glass half empty of half full? That depends on whether or not you’re watching it evaporate or you’re drinking it up with plans to belly back up for more.

Usually at the high point of summer I put on my golf lid and think about my mid-winter resolutions to play more, better, more, more, more golf.  I’m not quite living up to my pre-season expectations. Yes, the days are gloriously long, but they’re already slipping away two minutes at a time.  It's like the nightmare I used to have that school was starting the next day and I had somehow missed all of summer vacation. That thought puts the urgency back in the equation.  Time to book a tee time, lesson and hit the links. Time keeps on slippin.

On the other hand-
As a skier I know that THE DREAM will arrive soon.  It usually hits me around August.  A dream of skiing a perfect run with a couple great friends. We're weightlessly sailing over cat tracks and carving Super-G arks across snow that the rest of the world is oblivious to. Some dreams are too weird to make much of.  Others are so tangible that you wake up with aching quads and feet relieved to be fresh-out of ski boots.  In this dream the memory of firmly flexing skis is as palpable and indescribable as the “mush” of a golf ball turned jelly by a perfectly smoothed 6 iron.  Chills baby. Chills!

O.k back to reality.
Skiers- there’s more good stuff on tap this season.  Boyne is taking big steps to ensure that your cup runneth over.
Take a look at this pic from the top of Boyne Mountain:

How sweet is that?  I don't want to get too techichal, but from what they tell me More Pipes= More Water= More Snow. 

As you can see, snowmaking means hard work in the summer too.
It sure can't be cheap when you compare this to plumbing, say, your bathroom.

Just a reminder that Uncle BOYNE loves you skiers and isn't afraid to reach into his wallet to keep you smiling-even in the summer.
Put that under your pillow and sleep on it for a month or two and maybe you’ll have THE DREAM too. If you do, look out for the giggling freak airing it out over the cat tracks.

Golfers- don’t let that dream take your eyes off the ball.
Time keeps on slippin, slippin slippin.
Tick tock tick doo doo doo do.

-JJ