Conspiracy Theory

by jjohns 23. July 2008 14:43

There’s a conspiracy afoot.
It starts with a little mystery.
What’s missing in this picture?

Skiers and Riders should know the answer. The pic was taken at the bottom of Meadows. (I wonder how they came up with the name?)
Snowsports geeks might be answering “SNOW!” But no.  That’s not the point that I’m driving at today…come on it’s still July.

  What’s missing is the Meadows 4-person chair and towers.

What?
How could they?
That was my favorite chair!  (It really was my favorite chair.)

Sorry folks.  
It’s gone.
Kaput.
Bye bye.  
Here’s a pic of one of the uprooted and diced up towers to drive the message home.



I think the people in charge of Solace Spa are to blame. Any investigator worth his salt will tell you that the key to figuring something out is to follow the money. Apparently, it really is all about the Benjamins.

Here’s how I see the Spa’s diabolical plan working.
1. Remove old chairlifts.
2. Replace slow chairlifts with NEW HIGH SPEED DETACHABLE CHAIRS like the one going in at Meadows in the coming weeks.
3. Watch as skiers and riders spend more time riding downhill and less time resting while getting back up hill.
4. Quietly chuckle as they tire in half the time
5. Sell sports massages and foot treatments to the expressly-exhausted masses.
6. Count the money.

If it’s not the spa people, it’s the restaurateurs. Do you think an extra 15-20 runs over the course of a ski day would get you to eat a little more?  

Clearly, somebody wants to get you past the mainstay activities so you can enjoy all the other things there are to do here.

Come to think of it, this vast conspiracy may have infiltrated golf too.  How else do you explain the fastest round of golf world record just set at Boyne Mountain’s Monument golf course?

It definitely is not about providing even more value to skiers and riders further solidifiing your resort's position as the gold standard.  
Nah. That would be too simple an explanation.

I'll keep digging around and will let you know what I find out.

-JJ 

I Shot Old Yeller

by jjohns 3. July 2008 08:11

It's funny how nostalgic we can get about certain things.  Classic cars instantly draw reactions.  Remember the ride you tooled around in with a freshly-printed drivers license? The curves and lines of yesteryear are things you can touch that bring you right back to the good old days. The less you see them around town, the more powerful the experience when you do.

It’s the same with skis and golf clubs. These are the old friends that have been with us through some of the highlights of our lives.  I bet it’s the same with snowboards too, but I haven’t been doing it long enough for anything to seem classic.

Last week I was faced with a crisis. Staring at the dusty, rusting K2 Extremes in my garage it was undeniable that these dear friends had outlived their usefulness.  204 cm with 8.3 mm of sidecut is not exactly the shape of forgiveness. Not by a long shot.  I gazed at them fondly and realized that it has probably been more than 10 years since they have seen snow. I marveled at how I managed to turn the long stiff brutes.

I don’t have the luxury of space.  These puppies had to go.  I walked the neon spangled monsters to the curb and reflected on the Marker M-48 titanium bindings that I had so proudly mounted to the pristine boards.  I stifled a sob.

A neighbor was walking her dog by and stopped.
“You throwing those out?” She asked incredulously.

“Yeah, it seems silly to keep something around that I’ll never use. I just can’t see spending time on them when the new stuff lets me ski like I actually have ability.”

“I just love my old Rossignols.  I could never let them go.”

“It isn’t easy. Trust me. Thanks for the support.”

 I shuffled away, heavy hearted cursing her under my breath. I tried to move on with life.

An hour or two later I couldn’t take it any more.  I would teach the old dogs new tricks. Find some way to make them useful. Maybe in the form of a bench, or coat rack…something!
I ran out to the curb.

“I’m sorry guys!  I want you back!  I could never let you go.”

But the skis took the opportunity to show their unforgiving nature once again. After 10 years of sitting on the shelf they didn’t last 90 minutes on the curb.

I miss them, but I hope wherever they are, they have a fresh coat of wax and smooth, shiny edges.

I'll never forget you, even if I have moved on. Be well old friends. Be well.

-JJ

What are the icons of your skiing history?
What are the icons of all time?

I have a few-
Salomon X-Scream
Rossignol 4S
K-2 Extremes  Still rad, even if you didn’t have Plake’s mohowak.
Olin Mk V
Atomic ARC
Elan SCX- Man, they looked goofy at the time.
K-2 FOUR

Trak No-Wax xc's

Give me yours. 

A Mid Summer Nights Dream...and Nightmare

by jjohns 25. June 2008 10:37

Is your glass half empty of half full? That depends on whether or not you’re watching it evaporate or you’re drinking it up with plans to belly back up for more.

Usually at the high point of summer I put on my golf lid and think about my mid-winter resolutions to play more, better, more, more, more golf.  I’m not quite living up to my pre-season expectations. Yes, the days are gloriously long, but they’re already slipping away two minutes at a time.  It's like the nightmare I used to have that school was starting the next day and I had somehow missed all of summer vacation. That thought puts the urgency back in the equation.  Time to book a tee time, lesson and hit the links. Time keeps on slippin.

On the other hand-
As a skier I know that THE DREAM will arrive soon.  It usually hits me around August.  A dream of skiing a perfect run with a couple great friends. We're weightlessly sailing over cat tracks and carving Super-G arks across snow that the rest of the world is oblivious to. Some dreams are too weird to make much of.  Others are so tangible that you wake up with aching quads and feet relieved to be fresh-out of ski boots.  In this dream the memory of firmly flexing skis is as palpable and indescribable as the “mush” of a golf ball turned jelly by a perfectly smoothed 6 iron.  Chills baby. Chills!

O.k back to reality.
Skiers- there’s more good stuff on tap this season.  Boyne is taking big steps to ensure that your cup runneth over.
Take a look at this pic from the top of Boyne Mountain:

How sweet is that?  I don't want to get too techichal, but from what they tell me More Pipes= More Water= More Snow

As you can see, snowmaking means hard work in the summer too.
It sure can't be cheap when you compare this to plumbing, say, your bathroom.

Just a reminder that Uncle BOYNE loves you skiers and isn't afraid to reach into his wallet to keep you smiling-even in the summer.
Put that under your pillow and sleep on it for a month or two and maybe you’ll have THE DREAM too. If you do, look out for the giggling freak airing it out over the cat tracks.

Golfers- don’t let that dream take your eyes off the ball.
Time keeps on slippin, slippin slippin.
Tick tock tick doo doo doo do.

-JJ

That's A Wrap!

by cadgate 21. April 2008 08:55

 

What a winter. This one should shut up the old timers (ok, yes, like me) with their tired diatribes that always begin with, "You know, when I was a kid . . . " And it will give you young folks something to bore the grandkids with in 40 or 50 years - although, despite Al Gore's screeching, I think this winter is a sign of things to come.

Let's get financial for a second. In a more average year, a BOYNE Pass is a great bargain, especially if you have the ability to get out and use it frequently. This year it was an absolute steal - a person could have skied for pennies per hour if they wanted to. All this on snow that rated from very good to "it doesn't get any better". And it was great from late November until late April (you would have had to go to the western U.P. to ski as late as we did at Boyne Mountain). With late season extended night time hours and mid-week days that weren't part of the bargain when you bought your pass. Additionally, don't forget that along with having full run of the two biggest resorts in Michigan, you get free or deeply discounted skiing and riding (depending on which pass you buy) at world class resorts around the country like Big Sky, Montana and Sunday River, Maine.

Next year the pot is sweetening for Silver and Bronze Pass holders: gone are the blackout dates for skiing at Boyne Highlands! [Note to '07-'08 pass holders: you have through April 30 to save up to $50 dollars on next season' s pass.]  Find details here: BOYNE Season Passes   and here: FAQ

What's up for next year? Among other things, a continuation of upgrades to the snowmaking infrastructure which will further improve the quality, quantity, and duration of our winters (please refer back to the photo above, and to my January 24 post called "No 'Chance' of Snow", for proof of our ability to have winter when we want it.

Until later . . . check back once in awhile over the summer for news about all things snowsports at Boyne Resorts. 

 Cary Adgate - BOYNE SnowSports Ambassador

Anyone For Iced Tee?

by jjohns 12. April 2008 06:57

It's moving day at the Masters which could only mean one thing this year in Boyne Country- SNOW.

If you are a golfer looking for something tall to jump off of, why not Hemlock at Boyne Mountain- with a board or two strapped to your feet. You might just want to do it again and again.

Keep this in mind, things are getting really close to the possibility of being able to ski or ride in the morning AND play golf in the afternoon- on the same day. I refer to this scenario as "Iced Tee". How can you beat that? Stranger things have happened. 

The tee boxes for the Alpine and Monument were both looking quite green last weekend.
Keep the faith.

 -JJ

Missing Persons Report

by jjohns 8. April 2008 11:50

Something is missing- or rather, someone.  You’ve already heard me rave about the conditions, snow coverage and the weather from the weekend. We’ll leave that alone. What I find odd is the group of people that I shared the hill with, and more strikingly, the group that was under represented.

What was largely missing was the contingent of college-to-post grad riders.  There were a few twenty-somethings, but not the throngs I would have expected in light of the cheap prices, 60 degree temps and pure sun. The hill was wall to wall snow.  Shirt sleeves were everywhere. People were even riding in shorts. The vibe was entirely positive, happy and a contented-mellow. If ever there was a perfect setting for a weekend party this was it. The skiing families and groups of middle-aged and older skiers were eating it up. 

I know colleges have finals looming and the scene on campus is pretty great right now, but things here are sweet enough to warrant a little road trip.  For all of you who graduated in the last couple of years, take a break and enjoy a slice of the good life you have worked so hard for. Great nightlife, forgiving skiing and riding plus the opportunity to sport shorts- all make for great playing and great watching too. Skiing is consistently rated one of the world’s sexiest sports- and that is in spite of the fact that most of the time people are bundled up under layers.  Add some sun and skin and things ratchet up exponentially.

This time of year we can get caught looking ahead. Beaches, golf courses and biking trails beckon, but as of yet, they are still a little on the ugly side. Take a lesson from the core of “more experienced” riders that were out there. Conditions this fun are worth keeping an eye open for- and jumping on.  If you can adjust your party plans a little you’ll have weekends you’ll remember for a lifetime.

There is at least one more weekend left, maybe more.  Call your friends. Pack a bag. Set it in the corner. Stay tuned and be ready.

-JJ

Corn Rash

by cadgate 7. April 2008 14:13

No, it's not the latest blight targeted for eradication by the ag scientists at Archer Daniels Midland. It happens to be the only possible downside to skiing on a day like today. As in, you hit the deck at speed whilst wearing only your ski boots, your sunglasses, and your bathing suit. Note the weather report below before diving in. This doesn't always happen in April, so take advantage!                              Cary Adgate - BOYNE SnowSports Ambassador

Cloud Bounty

by jjohns 6. April 2008 07:28

I have a game I play with kids in the winter to keep things positive when the weather is less than ideal.  Depending on the conditions and cloud cover I will offer a bounty of anywhere from a nickel to 25 cents for each cloud spotted while riding the chairlift.  The monies earned are applied at the Spielladen immediately following the resolution of skiing. (Spielladen is the candy and toy store at the base of Boyne Mountain. auf Deutch  spiel = play  laden = store)

I set the price so that my ceiling of $5 isn’t tapped until close to the end.  I also apply whining as a debit to the account.  Call it bribery if you want.  I think it teaches the young ones that every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. It also ends every trip on a high note, provided that we all maintain a good attitude.

So far this weekend I have had to up the cloud bounty.  Friday and Saturday the bounty per cloud was rolled up to $5 for ANY visible cloud.   There was no threat to a payoff until about 3 Saturday when my nephew Ryan spotted 9 harmless little puffs to the east while we sat on the snow outside the Eagle’s nest having pops and chips and soaking it all in.

The two boys thought they had scored a jackpot. $45 worth of candy!!!  This is especially important to Ryan.  He is to sugar like a frat boy is to beer. If he were old enough and knew about it, he would probably sell his plasma so he could immediately go on a sugar bender like some of my old college buddies were known to do.

Unfortunately for the boys, we weren’t on a chairlift at the time, so no dice.  (phew- got lucky there. I have to add a new bylaw that caps the payout without dampening the enthusiasm.)

Looking at today’s skies I think I’ll set the starting bounty at $1.25.  We might just be up to $5 by noon.  Maybe.  Either way I know we’ll be hitting the Spielladen some time around 3 and it will be smiles all-around.

-JJ