Five years of buying bad gifts for my wife has finally paid off.  For years I have earned the dubious honor as a “gift schlub” for buying her gifts that I wanted for myself.  This started out innocently enough with an early MP3 player but quickly descended to include golf clubs, ski equipment and other sporting goods.  Buying clothes can be tricky, jewelry seems so pointless, so this seemed like the way to go. Usually the idea was to equip her so that we could enjoy activities together. Pretty noble, maybe even romantic, right? Either that, or a not-so-subtle hint for what she can get me.

Finally, my wife struck back.  For Valentines she bought me a spa gift certificate.  I think it was her way of trying to teach me a lesson.  I’m sure she thought that after she made her point she would promptly book a walk-in appointment at the spa and use the certificate to get a pedicure.  

Well I’ve got news for you babe. I’m delighted with the gift. Couldn’t be happier.  Now don’t get too giddy and think I might use this certificate to purchase great spa products, or better still will enlist the help of the Spa’s able waxing staff. Nosiree Bob.  I’m booking a massage. I haven’t decided if it will be Swedish, Hot Stone or maybe a Sport massage immediately following a day of skiing. What I can promise you is this:
Whatever it is, I will love it.  I plan on transcending reality and drifting off into a la-la land of puffy clouds and fluffy bunnies.  When I come to I’ll probably be face down in a puddle of my own drool and will be speaking a new language.  Might just follow that up with a “Hot Toddy for the Body”.  What the heck?

What’s really great is that I usually wouldn’t go out and do this for myself.  I'm not exactly a metrosexual. I live behind a keyboard and drive a station wagon to my kids’ soccer games.  I’ve had one other massage- a gift on my honeymoon.  It was fantastic and I swore I’d make that a regular thing.  Somehow, it has just never happened.

So thank you dear.  For giving me something that you would want to receive.  Maybe now, this will be a gift that I start getting for you…hint hint.

-JJ